Abducted By Aliens From Inner Space

You will not believe what happened to me the other day. I was sitting in front of my television set watching a science fiction movie about aliens from outer space who were abducting an earthling as he was sitting in front of his television set watching an old movie about aliens from outer space abducting an earthling. And then it happened to me. I felt like aliens had come from my own inner space and abducted me. They took me not to outer space but to Iran where I saw the things that convinced me we, in the West, must bomb Iran to kingdom come. No ifs or buts and no pity.

Here is what I saw and heard in Iran. I saw a man say they possess “sophisticated and continually advancing technologies.” He described them like this: “We can now track and kill enemy combatants without boots on the ground or pilots in the skies. Such missions can be accomplished using unmanned aerial vehicles: drones, of course.” He then lamented: “But there's also a kind of blimp that can achieve dominance on the battlefield – if we'd only deploy it.” And he described the weapon like this: “...a tethered blimp that floats above a battlefield (or potential battlefield) tracking everything below, including air, ground, and surface-water threats, and integrating all that information with missile defense and other intercept systems.” Hot stuff, eh!

The man, who I began to think of as no more than a self-styled armchair general, would not stop here. He went on to assert that the Iranian military had invested huge sums of money in that weapon, and “it would be useful to have this capability in place, as soon as possible over such hot spots as the Strait of Hormuz, a vital corridor for oil from the Persian Gulf.” He explained that the Gulf was more vital to Iran than to anyone else, the reason why the American fleet was threatening it by being in a place where it has no business being. Them are fighting words, man!

And the man would not stop here. Instead, he went on to explain the advantages of the weapon by saying it would fill a vital military need because: “Technology like this levels the playing field and allows our troops to deal with threats, known and unknown [while providing] hundreds of miles of around-the-clock, 360-degree defense against enemy aircraft, cruise missile, and unmanned drones.” See how satisfying it can be when you level the playing field?

And then the good aliens from inner space brought me back to reality where I found myself not in front of the television set like I thought I was but in front of the computer monitor where I was actually reading those words in a column authored by Clifford D. May of the National Review Online. What I reckon must have happened was that inside the inner space of my brain, I imagined the author to be an Iranian character cum self-styled armchair general who was expressing an insatiable lust for war and toys of war. The column was published on June 14, 2012 under the title: “Why We Should Use JLENS” and the subtitle: “The West shouldn't be afraid to use its technological advantages.” JLENS being the acronym for Joint Land Attack Cruise Missile Defense Elevated Netted Sensor System.

Then I felt like a crisis of conscience was beginning to seize me. Having developed the feeling that Iran ought to be bombed to kingdom come because it was harboring a nut who would say such awful things, I felt obliged to develop a similar feeling toward the West now that I know who wrote those words. Unable to do so, however, I felt shame because of my double standard, and felt guilty knowing that I have the ability to imagine an alternative situation by substituting one character for another, yet feel powerless to resolve the conflict I created in my own head. And so, in the hope of erasing my shame and my guilt, I went over the article again looking for a reason that might help me justify the double standard. I thought it would be nice if the author could convince me Iran was inherently bad and the West was inherently good.

A few paragraphs into the column came the discovery I was looking for.  Aha, there it is! I see something interesting. I see the words that will save me. Here they are: “Those defending the West try hard to abide by the laws of war. Those attacking the West say clearly that they will not be bound by any 'infidel' rules. They are committed to what they call a 'Koranic concept of war.'” But no, oh no that's not what I expected. What a disappointment! What the hell is this guy talking about? Is Clifford May the sort of writer who would invent something on the spot to attribute to others and make them look bad?

I thought about it and concluded he must be like that because I have been an avid reader of history all my life, and I learned something that is contrary to what he says. In fact, I used to own the Nineteenth edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica – the most classical edition of all -- and I believe it was in it that I read the only reference I ever saw pertaining to the Arab or Islamic way of doing war. It said that the Arabs invented the artillery but they would not use it because their cultural mores would not allow them to kill someone at a distance. The Arab or the Muslim preferred to face his enemy on the basis of man to man, and have a fair duel.

And that's not the only thing I read about the Arabs and the Muslims. I read the story of Saladin and Richard the Lionheart. Saladin was the man that liberated Palestine from the Crusaders who attacked the Holy Land under the leadership of the Lionheart. Saladin fought with such chivalry, he became a legend in England and all of Europe where they loved him more than they did the man he defeated. No one exactly knows how and why Richard was nicknamed the Lionheart but if there is one act attesting to the nature of his heart, it is the way he treated the Jews. The day he was crowned, he barred them from the festivities but a number of Jewish leaders – perhaps trying to be too cute by half -- slipped behind the guards and brought him gifts anyway.

To show his gratitude, he ordered his guards to strip the Jews naked; had them beaten up and kicked out of the palace. When the news spread among the masses, people all over London seized the opportunity to do what they always wanted to do. They robbed the Jews and massacred them by beating them and burning them alive inside their own homes. After that, they baptized the children who managed to escape the onslaught and survive the ordeal. Thus began the English habit of inflicting pogroms on the Jews, a habit that spread to the rest of Europe culminating in the Spanish Inquisition a few decades later.

Responding to the possibility that the Iranians may want to do to the Americans what the Americans did to them in the realm of cyber warfare, Clifford May wrote the following sarcastic passage: “Yes, and let's start by considering whether it is remotely plausible that Iran's rulers, the world's leading sponsors of terrorism, would conclude that it's not quite cricket to use such weapons.” Well, to see him accuse Iran's rulers of being the world's leading sponsors of terrorism for what he speculates they might do -- which is what he admits America has done already in partnership with Israel, the only recognized terrorist state in the world today -- reminded me of a scene I witnessed a long time ago.

Before I tell the story, I must advise the reader that what is ahead is a description of behavior too difficult to talk about in today's climate of political correctness. But it is an incident I must report the way I remember it while stressing that it is not something I condoned then or would condone now. There was a prominent Jewish lawyer who spoke only English in the Province of Quebec at a time when the Province was turning increasingly French. The lawyer found himself with little revenue, and so he welcomed anyone who would volunteer to go sit in the office and help out where possible. I did so whenever I had the time, and one day something happened that I shall never forget. A client of his came from the city of Windsor, Ontario. They talked for a while then the lawyer asked me if I would drive the client to a place where he was to meet with someone. I said sure.

I took my friend's client to the address, a tall building in a complex of buildings that had a helicopter pad. A man came to talk to us but I was so absorbed by the sight of the helicopters navigating around the buildings as they came to land, I missed the conversation that had begun on a cordial note between them. After three minutes or so, I was shaken by the guy I brought jumping to his feet and shouting to the other guy: “I came to talk to a man but I find myself talking to a fagot.” He started to walk away and so I followed him. I asked: “What was that all about?” And he said: “For years you deal with people you think are like you, but when you meet them, they turn out to be something else.” Considering this to be a non-answer, I tried to prod him further: “He owes you a lot of money but he won't pay?” And the man replied: “They rob you first then accuse you of robbing them.” And ever since that time, I have remembered this scene whenever I saw or heard someone accuse someone else of what they are themselves. This time, it was Clifford May who reminded me of it.

Now, allow me to say something to all of you little eunuchs out there. If you're going to start a fight, be prepared to fight like men not like male bimbos who endlessly complain about the people you nag till they kick you in the ass at which time you moan about being the victim of antisemitism. And certainly don't go around invoking the 9/11 tragedy because all you're going to do is trivialize it the way you trivialized the Holocaust, something you managed to do by milking the thing to the last drop. People are simply tired of hearing you cry out: He hit me. He hit me and he fights the way he wants to fight not the way I tell him to fight. He keeps hitting in different ways, and I cannot hit him back. It's not fair, it's not fair. Pity me, pity me. Gimme compensation, gimme compensation.

Oh shut up or change your tune. You're such a bore; you're annoying all the good people on Earth.

Now let me give you an example on how to fight, Cliff. You say the following in your column: “Of course, such resentments also are raised whenever we speak out against … the burning of Christian churches in Egypt.” Well, as a Christian of Egyptian origin, let me tell you once and for all what is happening in that country. Christian churches are not burning in Egypt; what is burning are the synagogues -- Jewish synagogues. They are not burned by Muslims but by Christians who do so because they know that if the Jews had it their way, they would crucify every Christian on Earth the way they crucified Jesus.

And the Christians of Egypt have what is needed to put two and two together, and form a clear picture of what is happening. They know from experience that when the Jewish leaders of America want to engage in a criminal activity overseas, they incessantly talk about a related subject so as to motivate the Congress of low-life goons to bankroll their plan. When the money starts to come in, the worldwide Jewish organizations recruit local criminals, pay them cash and train them to do bad things the moment that they see the good people they have targeted lower their guards. It is that the good people of Egypt have looked around, and they saw the mountain of verbalized wishful thinking done in America on the subject of a non-existent burning of churches. And so they decided to send you the following message:

We know what you're up to. We've seen you do it to others but you will not succeed here because we're watching you. We know that your minds will not rest, and your hearts will not feel joy till you turn Egypt into another Iraq where bombs will go off on a daily basis in the houses of worship, and people will die by the dozens. We know that this will be the fulfillment of your fantasies. They are the ancient dreams to inflict the worst kind of plagues on Egypt; the dreams you have been nurturing since the days when you thought Moses had declared you a nation. It is the event you have celebrated every year for thousands of years. It is what became your religion and your culture. Like you say it to yourselves and to each other, you cannot be who you are without wishing maximum plague on Egypt, and by extension wish it on the whole world.

This is why the Christians of Egypt, like those of everywhere else in the world, keep reminding each other never to lower their guards given that the Jews among them are a treacherous lot and proud of it. You must admit, Cliff, it is a good thing even for the Jews that the people of Egypt are alert. You know it because you know as well as anyone that when left to themselves, the Jewish leaders don't know where to stop. This is how they made of the gas chamber and the incinerator the natural habitat of Jews. I did not discover this; a Jew told me about it.

However much some of you are again beginning to feel homesick, this is something that will not be allowed to happen ever again. It is the reason why someone must be there to keep an eye on you; be there to protect you from each other, and save you from your own destructive impulses.

Don't you go now and bellyache your entrails out, Cliff. You wanted a war and you got one. Now fight back like a man; not like a sissy boy. It means no more charges of antisemitism and no more mention of 9/11. Only solid ideas rooted in verifiable historical truths.