Even if the mention of the name, “Foundation for Defense of
Democracies” causes most people to smile anticipating that they will hear a
funny joke, there is a minority of people that doesn't see humor in what the
outfit is about or what it stands for.
That minority may now cheer up because Clifford D. May, who
is president of the outfit, has put together something that will bring a smile
even to the most stone-like face you've ever seen. May wrote a column under the
title: “Iran's greedy demands” and had it published on July 10, 2018 in The
Washington Times.
Whereas kids who love slapstick believe that
pie-in-the-face, slipping on a banana peal and food fights make great comedy,
their adult counterparts appreciate comedy that is a little more sophisticated.
They want to see presentations that resemble a smorgasbord of assorted foods,
or the kind of storyline that alludes to nature's beauty as well as its
spring-like scents. As it happens, with a little help from the imagination,
these are the sights, tastes and smells that Clifford May's column evokes
despite the fact that the work is a collection of insults thrown at the
Iranians.
The first reaction that a reader has when reading the
column, is that a potpourri of rotten insults should not represent a medley of
spring-like scents. But there they are, enchanting the reader and causing him
or her to smile. Why is this happening?
Well, potpourri is a French word that's made of two parts.
There is “pot” which means the same thing as in English. And there is “pourri” which
means rotten. Originally, potpourri used to refer to aromatic plants utilized
to freshen a room. Before the invention of perfume, the French used to collect all
kinds of such plants during the flowering season and treat them with chemicals
to make them last till the fall and winter seasons. Thus, while the content of
the pot may have looked rotten by then, the preparation continued to smell
nice; which is why it was called potpourri (rotten pot). In a similar fashion,
Clifford May's column has a rotten content that's nevertheless relieved by the
occasional comical moment.
In reality, the dish that Clifford May has cooked up is
made with leftovers from what was said and repeated about Iran over the years.
Like the Italian pizza, the Spanish paella and the North European smorgasbord,
the medley of leftovers that Clifford May put together appeals to all sorts of
people because each person finds in it something that pleases him or her.
Here is a recreation of the food for thought that Clifford
May has baked for his readers:
“Britain, France and Germany are America's allies but do not
always act like it. Their ministers met with those of China and Russia,
adversaries of the U.S. They also met with the minister of Iran, a regime that
cries out Death to America. Their mission is to undermine the U.S. policy; to
relieve the pressure on Iran's rulers; pressure placed there to change their
behavior at home and abroad. Iranian President phoned French President and told
him that the package on the table does not meet all our demands. One might wonder:
In what kind of negotiation does one side make 'demands' of the other?”
The joke here is on Clifford May and through him, on his
readers. It is a “lost in translation” kind of joke that reminded me of the one
I heard when I was a child long ago. It left such an impression on me, I still
remember it many decades later. It goes like this:
“An English and a French tourist in a foreign country sat
around the same table at an outdoor bar under a hot sun. The waiter who speaks
both languages took the orders for cold drinks and came back moments later with
the first. He placed it between the two men and walked back to get the second
drink. The Frenchman reckoned this was not his drink but seeing an ant crawl on
the glass warned the Englishmen, there is a “fourmi” on his glass. Believing
that the Frenchman was saying “for me,” the Englishman insulted him with harsh
words and offensive gestures. Angered, the Frenchman responded in kind, and the
skirmish escalated to serious blows”.
This was such a funny joke at the time, I still smile when
it comes to mind. What reminded me of it is Clifford May asking: “In what kind
of negotiation does one side make demands of the other? He most likely does not
know that the English word “demand” and the French word “demande” mean two
slightly different things. The French use the word to simply and respectfully
request something. The English use it to forcefully and commandingly impose a
request.
Now imagine a phone call that took place between a French
President that does not speak Farsi, and an Iranian President that does not
speak French, both relying on translators to let them know what the other is
saying.
Now imagine someone translating into English the transcript
done in either language of that conversation. What are the chances that the
translation will accurately reflect what was said in the two original
languages? The chances are very small.
And this is why people such as Clifford May should not be so
foolish as to build a high tower over a translated word. He thought that the
Iranian President was making greedy demands when, in reality, the man was only
making a respectful request.