Thursday, May 21, 2015

And Bobby Jindal isn't an authentic Redneck

Bobby Jindal is again trying to out-red the Rednecks that populate the swampy bayous in his neck of the woods. He is doing this in the hope of gaining their confidence and win their votes in the upcoming election cycle. One thing he did to advance his dream is to write: “Iran Isn't Iraq, and This Isn't 2003,” an article that was published on May 20, 2015 in National Review Online.

In taking this approach, Jindal does to himself what the apartheid regime of South Africa used to do to people of color. When it could not keep the White professionals from leaving the country, and could not attract enough White immigrants to replace those it was losing, the regime labeled the Asian applicants honorary Whites and welcomed them into the country. In a similar fashion, Bobby Jindal wants the world to believe he is now an honorary Redneck whose neck can turn as red as that of a turkey at the start of the mating cycle.

The one area in which the human turkeys of the bayous have gained special notoriety, is the combination of ignorance and cowardice that is said to power their political activities. Unlike the conservatives everywhere else in the world who campaign by explaining to their constituents what parts of the old wisdom they will conserve, and how they will adapt them to better serve the modern era, the redneck conservatives of America promise their constituents to make them feel exceptional by doing things which are exceptionally dumb; things like send American boys and girls to far away places where they hope to kick asses, and in return, get kicked in the ass … a symbol, perhaps, of lowering America's standing in the eyes of the world.

So then, what can a self-proclaimed honorary Redneck do to endear himself to his new constituents? Well, he can begin his article like this: “Instead of rehashing the Iraq War, let's face today's much more serious threat from Iran.” And if you want to know why that is, he tells you why. It is because hindsight is 20/20, and that Monday-morning quarterbacking is useless, he says.

Being the agreeable and easy going fellow that you are, you say fine. You accept Bobby Jindal's presentation, and promise to adapt your thinking to see things the way he sees them. You take a deep breath and ask: What now, Bobby? And he tells you what. Speaking of President Obama, he says this: So unwilling to contemplate a military engagement in the Middle East is he, he appears scared of his shadow.” Well, you don't tell this to Bobby, but you think to yourself that if Mr. Obama is scared, he is not scared of being wounded or dying himself; he is scared for the American boys and girls whom, as their commander in chief, he would be sending to get wounded or die.

True to character, you restrain yourself long enough to calmly ask the next question: What does it all mean, Bobby? And he tells you what. Doing his own quarterbacking in hindsight, he references the two wars of the Twentieth Century saying this: “After the horrors of Verdun … Neville Chamberlain and his contemporaries so feared the outbreak of another Great War for years they handsomely rewarded aggression in their midst – setting the stage for an even bloodier global conflict.”

This is where you almost burst with anger, and feel tempted to confront him. But lucky for you, he comes to the rescue by saying something so primitive, you cool off instantly, feeling it is not worth getting exercised over a turkey that will probably not make it into the league of rednecks. It is that speaking of Hillary Clinton, he tells you this: “it's how she and the president have learned the wrong lesson from the [Iraq] conflict.”

And the lesson, according to him, is this: “Because this decade's answer to an Iraqi regime that did not possess chemical or biological weapons is not to leave Iran within striking distance of a nuclear bomb.” Fine, you say, but where is the lesson that says America must do something about Iran? In response, Jindal makes his point by reminding you of the words that were spoken by Mr. Obama when he was a senator.

He says that at the time, Mr. Obama said he believed that Saddam Hussein posed no imminent and direct threat to the US or his neighbors, that the Iraqi economy was in shambles, that the Iraqi military was a fraction of its former strength, and that the international community could contain a petty dictator … all of which proved to be true, says history, now that a decade has passed. So you want to know, what point is Jindal trying to make? It is this: “Contrast his [Obama's] comments about Iraq then to the situation in Iran now.” He goes on: “Iran is much more of a threat now than Iraq was then.”

You recall that he got you to this point to explain why he says Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama learned the wrong lesson. It is that Clinton was wrong because she voted for the war, and then admitted she made a mistake, he had said. It is also that Obama was wrong because he opposed the war from he start, he had said. And so, he can now assert that he, Bobby Jindal, who approved of the attack on Saddam and does not regret it, is in a position to opine that Iran cannot be contained … which is euphemism that means Iran must be bombed into the Stone Age. This is the kind of redneckism that the authentic rednecks of the bayous will reject.

To close, Jindal recalls that Bill Clinton campaigned in 1992 using a song of the time “Don't stop thinking about tomorrow.” But now, he believes that the game over Iraq echoes the song “It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.” What he will soon realize, however, is that he'll be singing a more recent song to the Rednecks: “Fool that I am for falling in love with you. And a fool that I am for thinking you loved me too.”