Friday, November 29, 2013

Suckers Pay Slickers Who Fatten Their Wallets

Imagine you are in your house and suddenly, you hear noise and loud human voices outside. You and your family go out to see what is happening, and discover that a part of the neighbor's house is in flames, an occurrence caused by a car that caught fire in the street nearby. Your own house has been affected but to a much lesser extent.

You notice that the neighbors are wrangling loudly as to the best way to handle the situation without doing anything. In the meantime, you and your family quickly decide who will get the buckets of water, who will get the garden hose and who will call the fire department. But while you're doing this, the do-nothing neighbors scream at you that you're wasting time wrangling among yourselves instead of doing something to put out the fire. You shake your head in dismay, having just realized that your neighbors are a family of bozos.

Well, my friend, this is the closest analogy that would describe what comes to mind when American pundits who stand at one extreme of the political spectrum or the other, ignore their own house that's ablaze, and lecture to others – the Egyptians, for example – as to the way they ought to handle their own little fires. This is what the editors of the Wall Street Journal have done once again with the piece they published on November 30, 2013 under the title: “Egypt's Authoritarian Slide” and the subtitle: “The generals crack down on the secular liberal opposition.”

First, they say that the Egyptian authorities arrested one of the leaders of the uprising who, along with millions of Egyptians, forced out Mubarak nearly three years ago. This time, however, they acknowledge that he did not have those millions behind him because: “Many Egyptians are happy to settle for the restoration of some kind of order after nearly three years of chaos.”

So what's the problem? What are these editors bitching about? Well, they admit there is nothing tangible except for a feeling that they have. It's not something they can put their finger on; it's what things look like. Look like, they say? Yes, look like. Here it is in their own words: “The military looks like determined to ensure no repeat of the January 2011 upheavals that brought free elections and the Islamists to power in the first place.”

Does that mean the military fears the Islamists might return to power? Oh no, not that, they say; and they have a good reason not to believe so because: “The head of the Egyptian military remains the most popular figure in Egypt, and he can probably win if he runs for the presidency in elections due next year.” What then? Nothing. Just that; a feeling. Are you sure it's just a feeling? No further comment. Okay.

But you want to know: What does that feeling do to them? It gets them to speculate as to what the future holds. In fact, they are so certain of their speculation, they take it as prophecy. Here is how they see the scenario play itself out: Various political parties will start to press for a greater say in how Egypt is run. The Islamist are badly wounded, but not out. As memories fade, support for the Brotherhood will rise … One byproduct is terrorism.

Did they imagine all that alone based on a feeling? Well, not really. What they did is what they always do which is to find a restless local who went to live in America, and they took his advice. It's like Russian pundits building a case based on what Ed Snoden tells them ... but don't tell this to anyone; it can get embarrassing.

Knowing how to live at the expense of suckers, the restless Egyptian knew exactly what they wanted to hear, and that's what he told them. He said the military is building on pillars that are xenophobic ultranationalism, anti-Americanism and conspiracy theories about Fifth Columnists. And he predicted that this will again make Egypt prime recruiting ground for al Qaeda. Of course, what these Egyptians will do even before they are born is tell their parents to go breed them in Pakistan and Chechnya so that when they grow up, they will go blow up things in London and Boston – and no one will know they are Egyptian.

Since I know at least as much as that restless guy about what is being said and not said in Egypt, I conclude that he must be reading books written in America about conspiracy theories on the assassination of John Kennedy and Martin Luther King, books on the disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa, and books on the Americans who blew up their own World Trade Center. He must now be laughing his way to the bank and to the bookstore where he will grab more stories to adapt and sell to the suckers who will be too eager to pay him.