Friday, February 14, 2014

Witch Doctor Talking Brain Surgery

If you ever watched one of those Tarzan movies and wondered what it would be like to listen to a witch doctor describe how he would treat a patient with brain injury, you have something that comes close to that now. Believe it or not, to read an article on economics written by the Republican Majority Leader of the House of Representatives Eric Cantor, has the same effect as listening to a witch doctor describe how he would perform brain surgery.

Under the title: “An America That Works” Cantor wrote an article that was published in National Review Online on February 13, 2014. In it, he supposedly describes how he and his party will get the American economy to perform better, thus create enough jobs to have one ready for every American that wants to work and seeks one. But by the time you have gone over the article, you find that it is empty of descriptions as to what concrete steps he and his party will take to deliver on the promise.

What you will find instead, is that from the first word in the article to its last, Cantor does nothing outside of two things. First, he demonizes President Obama and his administration for one thing or another. Second, he performs what you might call the haunting chant of the cantor; a ritual that entails the repetition of words he imagines will drive the demons away. And you get the sense that in his mind, he truly believes that this kind of sorcery will do the trick.

In the first paragraph, Cantor tells the reader what the Obama demons looks like. He says they look like “a European style social-welfare state” where “able-bodied adults retreat from the work force.” And he promises to fashion an America where “each generation will enjoy more liberty, opportunity, and prosperity” which he says is the old American Dream, after all.

He warns that Obama threatens this dream because “One in six working-age men [is] out of work.” As to what he and his party will do to change things, he promises there are “conservative solutions to the most pressing problems … an agenda to help build an America that works again.” To do this, he says that he and his colleagues in the Congress will focus on 4 key areas. They are the creation of jobs and economic growth, easing the squeeze on the middle class, finding an alternative to ObamaCare, and creating new opportunities.

As to the creation of jobs and economic growth, here is how the haunting chant of the cantor goes: “America doesn't work if Americans aren't working.” Okay, but how are you going to fix that, Eric the cantor of haunting chants? And here is his response: “regulatory relief” and changes in “tax policy,” he says. In short, he promises more of the old potions that got the economy in this mess in the first place.

As to easing the squeeze on the middle class, here is how the haunting chant of the cantor goes: “America doesn't work if middle-class families are working more but taking home less.” Okay, but how are you going to fix that, Eric the cantor of haunting chants? And here is his response: “stopping regulation” and “updating our tax code,” he says. In short, he promises more of the old potions that got the economy in this mess in the first place.

As to finding an alternative to ObamaCare, here is how the haunting chant of the cantor goes: “If America is going to work, we need a health-care system that works.” Okay, but how are you going to fix that, Eric the cantor of haunting chants? And here is his response: “Repeal of Obamacare and reform.” But that has been tried for a hundred years and nothing came of it till ObamaCare won the approval of the electorate, the Congress and the Supreme Court. If you repeal it now, how are you going to fix that, Eric the Cantor of the haunting chants? And here is his response: “Americans deserve a health-care system in which insurers compete for our business, keeping prices down and quality high.” You know what, you sorcerer of the deep, I give up. You're not good enough to be a witch doctor, and here you are, trying to talk brain surgery.

But let's move to opportunity. How are you going to provide more opportunities for the American people, you cantor of the haunting chant? And here is his response: “America doesn't work if college is out of reach for most families.” Okay, but how are you going to fix that, Eric the cantor of haunting chants? And here is his response: “we will push for a high-quality education, work-force-training and vocational-education programs.”

And this is the only thing that makes sense in the entire article. As it happens, it is something he stole from the Obama speeches. Why go with the witch doctor when you have the brain surgeon in charge now?