Just as the name Elliott Abrams came to be cemented in the
minds of people as being synonymous with baker of shit pies, the man is now
trying to play the role of prophet. And he wants you to believe that as such,
he knows the future – but more than that, he knows what everyone in the world
wants. Thus, he can plead the case of every soul on the planet as a retained
lawyer who is also in possession of ironclad powers of attorney from everyone
to speak in their name as if he were their voices.
He makes this claim in a memo to the court of public
opinion, a presentation to which he gave the title: “Obama's U.N. Speech Showed
Indifference to Freedom and Religious Minorities in Middle
East ” which he published on September 24, 2013 in National Review
Online. He uses the speech mentioned in the title to tell the world of his new
status as baker cum lawyer. That is, he wants the world to know that from maker
of smelly stuff, he has become formulator of stinky ideas.
But lest the Muslims of the world come under the impression
that he is making their case too this time around, he makes it clear at the
outset that he is pleading this case only because “President Obama displayed
the tone-deafness to the fate of non-Muslim peoples in the Middle
East .” So there you are, Muslims; let it be clear to you that his
concern this time is restricted to the fate of Christians, Baha'is and
Zoroastrians. Or is it so?
So now that the world knows who Elliott Abrams is, he wants
to tell it what he is pitting himself against. It is none other than “Iran , a vicious
dictatorship whose regime is rejected by the great majority of that nation's
population.” And you know what this means, my friend? It means that he, Elliott
Abrams, represents the great majority of the people of Iran . But wait
a minute. The combined tally of the Christians, Baha'is and Zoroastrians in Iran does not
come anywhere near being the majority of the population. So it must be that he
is representing a good part of the Muslim population too which he said he
isn't. How does he explain that? Be patient, my friend, you'll get the
explanation soon enough.
Moving on with his plea, he wants to give a face to the evil
he is combating. Here is how he put it: 'We are not seeking regime change.' Oh
no, my dear reader, do not misunderstand this; what Abrams does here is quote
President Obama. You see, in formulating the matter this way, he gave evil not
one face but two. There is the regime in Iran , and there is Mr. Obama who
would not seek to change it. Who then is the aggrieved party in this saga? It
is this: “what words of encouragement did he [Obama] have for the Iranian
people?” It is the people of Iran .
Now you know why he has taken their case including the Muslims among them. Told
you, you'll get the answer soon enough.
But what is it that makes Obama so evil? It is that he added
insult to injury when he lauded the fact that the regime has committed itself
to helping the people meet their extraordinary potential in commerce, culture,
science and education. Wow, how bad is that? Very bad, says our newest prophet,
because he knows what lurks in the hearts of the Iranian people. It is none of
that, he says, it is freedom. It is “freedom, which most Iranians think is a
central part of their extraordinary potential.” And this tone deafness is what
makes the decline of America 's
moral leadership under Obama so shocking, he says.
But wait a minute; the American people have grown accustomed
to the spin that the Muslims hate freedom. So why is he telling them now that
freedom is a central part of the extraordinary potential the Muslims of Iran
yearn to achieve? This seems to have happened so suddenly and yet there was not
a Reagan to teach them the lesson. Did they, by any chance, learn it from
Obama? If so, it may be that the man is not so evil after all.
Having messed up the case he tried to plead after retaining
himself on behalf of people who would reject him as fast as they would his shit
pies, Abrams returns to his old profession of baking those pies again. Here is
how he does that: “The president's speech may cause smiles in Teheran, but in
the homes of Iranians … and in the homes and churches of Middle Eastern
Christians … the president is more likely to have produced despair.”
Being a Middle Eastern Christian, let me assure you, Elliott
that the only time these people will feel despair is if they knew of your plan
to franchise your baking operation, and start delivery of your shit pies to
their homes and their churches. These people are finicky, you know!
Stay out of their lives and they will not despair.