Sunday, July 20, 2014

Screwy Logic leading to screwy Editorial

You start reading the New York Times editorial that came under the title: “Israel's War in Gaza,” published on July 19, 2014 and something happens to you. Knowing quite a bit about the subject already, a passage you encounter in the second paragraph blows your mind. Here is that passage: “the Hamas bombardments which are indiscriminately lobbed at Israeli population centers.” You stop reading and marvel at this affront to logic.

You try to resume reading the article but cannot because the absurdity of the passage is so overwhelming; it suspends the mental faculties in charge of your reading skills, and switches your brain to the faculties which are in charge of reverie.  And so, you go into a reverie mode in which you imagine the following exchange between a supporter of the Jewish causes (J) and a representative of the World community (W) as the two begin to discuss the Palestinian situation:

W:   What is it you've been saying about Hamas?

J:   They are evil and we are saintly.

W:   How do you know they are evil? And what makes you think you are saintly?

J:   They lob rockets indiscriminately; we lob rockets surgically.

W:   You mean you both have precision rockets but they lob them indiscriminately, and you lob them precisely at chosen targets?

J:   No, they don't have precision rockets; they don't have the money to pay for them. In fact, they don't have the money to pay for what they use now which is cheap stuff given to them by others. They also make some rockets themselves in a basement-like operation. Real amateurish stuff.

W:   Well then, if their rockets hit places indiscriminately, it must be because they are unguided cheap stuff, and not because this is the intention of Hamas.

J:   No, no. The truth is: they have bad intentions, and we know that from other things.

W:   But tell me this, how much damage do they cause?

J:   Nil. Zero. Zilch. Nothing. No damage at all. It is amateur hour when it comes to the launch of their rockets.

W:   So then, why are you upset?

J:   Because they have bad intentions, and we know that from other things.

W:   And you say your intentions are saintly?

J:  Yes of course. You are exactly right. We are saintly because we have good intentions. Saintly intentions.

W:   And you say this is the case because your rockets – like their rockets – cause no damage and kill nobody?

J:   No, no. You're wrong there. It is not exactly that. You are way off.

W:   No, you say? What do your rockets do then?

J:   They cause damage and they kill.

W:   But I thought you said they were precise.

J:   They are.

W:   Why then do they cause damage and kill? Is this what you want, or is it that you don't know how to use them?

J:   Oh yes, we know how to use them. We use them as intended, and they do what is expected of them. They cause damage and they kill.

W:   You cause damage and kill deliberately?

J:   Yes, yes.

W:   And you say you have good and saintly intentions?

J:   Yes... yes, of course.

W:   You kill those who cannot kill you because you have saintly intentions? For what reason do you kill?

J:   I told you; it is because they have bad intentions, and we know that from other things not from the launch of their rockets.

W:   So then, why do you say they launch indiscriminately?

J:   What's wrong with you? Don't you understand when I say we know they have bad intentions from other things?

W:   But how can I tell that you have saintly intentions from what you're telling me?

J:   What I have been telling you is not enough for you to judge me by. You must Judge me by the other things I do that you do not see.

W:   So here we are discussing the situation in Palestine, and you tell me to believe that Hamas has evil intentions because I must judge them not from what I see but what you're telling me. And when it comes to you, I must not judge you from what I see but what you're saying about yourself?

J:   Yes, exactly that.

W:   Well, let me ask you a question: What do you take me for? A moronic American legislator? Or maybe a retarded editor at the New York Times?